Tags: linnea

fly

Twelve Days of Revision

Jen's 10 COMMANDMENTS as delivered by

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The REVISION GODDESS


1. Jen shall write a minimum of 5-6 hours a day

2. Jen shalt not sign onto the internet more than once in 24 hrs

3. Jen shalt not spend more than 30 minutes on said internet; those 30 minutes may only be spent checking e-mails

4. Jen shalt not blog, surf, etc., etc.

5. Jen shalt not take more than one break an hour and each break shall last no longer than 10 minutes

6. Jen shalt not answer her cell during revisions; she may check her messages on her breaks

7. Jen shall stick to her schedule except in case of life or death or extreme illness, i.e. diptheria, lockjaw, c-diff, salmonella, elephantiasis, MRSA, intractable migraine, or a prolapsed bladder.

8. Jen shalt not chitchat on the phone, chitchat on the computer, or chitchat anywhere else for said 12 days

9. Jen shalt not go into work no matter who begs or bribes her

10. Jen shall consider these revisions her full-time job for these 12 days

Addendums from The Goddess:

1. Should Jen refuse to abide by these rules, the penalty is as follows--Jen shall be compelled to stand naked for 12 hrs in front of a full-length mirror and read Danielle Steel out loud to her own horrified reflection. She shall also be forced to do the "voices" of the characters. Warning: this session may be taped for cable TV.

2. Good news: Jen IS, however, permitted to consume all the Twizzlers, donuts, chocolate-covered espresso beans, cafe mochas, gourmet pretzels, Jelly Bellies, and anything else her heart desires in order to kick in the endorphins and stimulate the creative process. Nothing is off limits.

~~~The Goddess Has Spoken~~~

Random Monday

I need a split personality to work on 2 projects at once. I spent Saturday trying to do revisions for Linn (I decided to put her aside till my vacation starts next week). Then I spent Sunday doing a NaNo "dry run." You kmow how long it took me to do 3 paragraphs? 3 hours. I couldn't just write--I had to edit every line.

Forget that. One project at a time. I can't jump back and forth.

I saw Grandma yesterday, still in a wheelchair. I told her she has to start walking more. I know they're working with her, but seriously, I'm afraid she's grown too attached to that wheelchair. She scootches around in it like nobody's business. But I really don't want to schlep a wheelchair when I want to take her out, like to the apple farm, which she positively loves to do every year at this time. The whole point of this surgery was so she wouldn't end up in a wheelchair. So I plan to drop in there a bit more often and have her walk with me. The nursing home can only do so much.

Anyone else following the Casey Anthony case? Tomorrow the grand jury will hear the evidence against her. If she's indicted and the case goes to court, I'm hoping they'll broadcast it on Court TV. I'm suuuuch a crime freak--ever since my parents traumatized me by dragging me through that wax museum at Cedar Point where I viewed display after display of bloody crime scenes. You know how, when someone is accused of murder and the cops ransack their home and use their reading material as "evidence"? Well, if the cops ever hit my book shelves, I'm definitely toast.

Five more working days and then I'm off for 2 weeks! The countdown begins.
asylum

Follow Up from Linnea

Dear My Author,

Thank you soooo much for finishing up my story. I don't particularly appreciate the broken fingers you gave me in the last couple of chapters. Nor do I appreciate the fact that you never let me have sex. At least not REAL sex, just the stuff you do on the computer. And I REALLY dislike the fact you wouldn't let me hold onto that Vicodin. You ever have a broken finger? You know what that feels like?

However, you did not kill me off at the end, though you came pretty close. What an awesome scene! The fact you let that creepy Theo live doesn't sit well with me, but what the heck. I have to admit, this is about as close to a "happy ending" that you've ever gotten. At least you didn't leave me sitting alone on a curb in the middle of traffic or take away the one person I love most in the world. Man, what IS it with you and these sad, twisted endings?

OK. I see you are now quite busy watching Silence of the Lambs for the fiftieth time, you sicko, and waiting for the timer to go off on your pork roast. FYI, I'm giving you ONE WEEK to get through the next--AND LAST--revision which, from what I can see, ought to be a piece of cake. Oh, and you might want to run this past your crit group, because, yanno, you can't proofread for &*%$ and your timeline still sucks. Is it Thanksgiving? Is it Christmas? Do you even know?

Sincerely,

Linnea, Your Main Character Who Could Do Without the Red Hair and the Big Butt--but hey, whatever. You're the so-called author, not me.
carol

An Official Complaint

Dear My Author,

With all due respect, you are really ticking me off!

I've been patient, very patient with you.

Granted, I'm not as funny or as paaaaassionate or as bitchy as Martha (yeah, I know, you like "bitchy", whoop-di-doo). I'm not as smart or as rich or as cute as that Shawna (hello, a size SIX? You kidding?) I can't kick a$$ like Martha. I can't freaking figure out genetic codes in my head like Shawna. So what does that make me, chopped chicken gizzards?

Ten crappy pages left and you can't even finish me. I do notice, however, that you have time to BLOG. You DO have time to IM thebadgirl2007 and send emails to another_wip and Kathie and Nadine and all your relatives. You have time to fool around on forums and comment on other people's blogs, right? And read OTHER people's manuscripts! Are you insane?

OH! And did you have to decide TEN PAGES FROM THE END that it's time to clean and paint and totally redo your damn bedroom?

Am I that boring?

OK, let's see. My objections are as follows:

1. Everyone LIVES in my story. What's up with that? You killed off 2 people in Martha's book (you babykiller, you!) and one in Shawna's. Suddenly you're a pacifist?

2. Martha gets to have sex, sucky though it may be. Shawna gets to have sex. *I* don't get any? Are you for real?

3. No gay people! Yet Shawna's mom is a lesbian, for pity's sake, and you threw a TG into Martha's story for, like, no apparent reason. Suddenly I belong to an alternate universe?

4. And what's with the noticeable lack of swear words? A sprinkling of damns and hells don't count. Next you'll be putting me in pigtails and a Hannah Montana T-shirt.

5. No drugs? I mean, even Miss Perfect Shawna gets to drink at least. You don't even give me a chance to lick the rim of an empty beer bottle.

OK, I'm seriously losing patience. I mean, even now you're sitting here blogging, pretending to be me, when you could be writing. So I'm warning you right now: FINISH ME ALREADY!

Next time I won't ask as nicely.

Sincerely,

Your very dissatisfied main character, Linnea

Unhappy WIP

I spent 6 hrs yesterday revising, managed to get through 14 chapters, came up with a totally awesome twist--and then, when I got home, my copyedits had arrived.

Linnie's not happy.

Linnie: What? You're abandoning me? We are on a roll!

Me: I know. But these are my copyedits. I need to get them back by Monday.

Linnie: Monday, Schmonday.

Me: Now, now...

Linnie: Don't you "now, now" me! If you loved me, you wouldn't do this to me.

Me: How can you say I don't love you?

Linnie: You love Shawna more. You've always loved her more.

Me: That is so not true. Don't you know a heart is a home with a room for every person it loves?

Linnie (pause): Where the hell did you get that old fossil?

Me: ...I don't remember. I think I stole it from an old Hayley Mills movie.

Linnie: Be that way. Have fun with Sha-a-a-awna! Who needs you anyway?

Me: You do, dummy.

Linnie: Pffft! Fine. Let me know when you can work me into your busy-ass schedule.

Me: Wait! You brat. You just stole that line from Martha! Page 218!

Linnie: (smirk) At least I had permission.
snoopy

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did not hit my 65k mark today.

But that's okay.

Because the first draft is FINISHED!

Zokutou word meter
62,812 / 62,812
(100.0%)


Title: Love Me Back

Genre: YA

First draft started: Feb, 13, 2008

First draft completed: April 14, 2008

Cups of coffee consumed: 62,812--same as the word count. :)

Writing, Writing, Writing

OK, I re-guesstimated my final word count, and realized this story will NOT be 80k. At least not the first draft. I think it'll wrap up at around 65. My shortest one so far! (is that good or bad?)

Therefore--since I wrote 7k today!!!--this is where Linnea stands now:

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
57,138 / 65,000
(87.9%)
lyddie

Second Wind

OK, I went back to bed and slept till 2 p.m. and then got back up and felt great! Saw Grandma who is doing fine and will probably come home tomorrow, though she doesn't quite "get" that she's even in the hospital. Not that nobody hasn't told her that, like, 99,000 times. I think she thinks we're pulling a fast one on her--moving her from room to room just to psyche her out. :)

Then I came back and helped Linnea tear up a car. Thanks for the suggestions!

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
50,136 / 80,000
(62.7%)