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"The End"

It's been seven weeks since I've blogged, but with a very good reason. KND is completed (can I hear a "YAY"?)

Writing this novel has been consumed more time, more energy, and more of my soul than any of my three previous novels. I've had to delve into dark places I'd never ventured before. It was scary, and thrilling, and it started with two photos: This one--

 photo nazidollholocaust.jpg

--and this one--

 photo nazidollholocaust2.jpg

--both photos of dolls, found in concentration camps, that once belonged to young victims of the Holocaust.

As soon as I saw these pictures, the "what if?" began...

The "play name" for my wip, "killernazidoll," has always been a misnomer. Though Berta belongs to a Nazi, not a victim or survivor, it's not she who's the killer, though she does have her gruesome moments. As I needed a "real" doll to serve my purpose, I spent weeks on eBay till I found the perfect one. If you follow me on Facebook, you're already familiar with her:

 photo Bernardine2.jpg

A Madame Alexander "mama doll" from the late 20s/early 30s, I originally named her Bernadine. Soon I grew tired of typing out the long name, so I shortened it to Berta, as she had to have a German name. This was one of the very few name changes I made; unlike my other manuscripts, I knew *exactly* what my main characters' names were before I even started the first draft. The Berta you see here is exactly as she's described in the novel. Maybe less, um, sinister. :)

It astonishes me that so many people find old dolls "creepy." I find them breathtakingly beautiful--cracks, flaws, and all--each one steeped in her own marvelous history, worn nearly to shreds by the many hands that loved her. I get the feeling "my" Berta, unlike the Berta in my story, led a fairly innocuous life. She is not stained with blood. Her green eyes, wide and innocent, don't watch me with veiled suspicion. I suspect she has a story of her own that I'll never know, but it's not important enough for me to find out.

The "other" Berta's story, however, broke my heart while I wrote it.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 18th, 2013 03:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Melodye! And though the "creep factor" is there, isn't not particularly scary. Then again, it's all a matter of perception--and, as you know, not much scares ME, lol.
Nov. 18th, 2013 04:54 pm (UTC)
Congratulations! Sounds like it was a labor of love.
I'm a fan of old dolls. I've got several stashed away in a closet. I wonder what they would say if they could talk.
Nov. 18th, 2013 05:19 pm (UTC)
Maybe we should turn out the lights...and listen... :)
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 19th, 2013 06:08 pm (UTC)
Nov. 18th, 2013 09:55 pm (UTC)
so proud
I can't wait to read it! well done sis!
Nov. 19th, 2013 06:08 pm (UTC)
Re: so proud
Thank you, Mary! xox
Nov. 19th, 2013 10:12 pm (UTC)
Wow, this sounds like a real winner.
Nov. 20th, 2013 06:42 am (UTC)
Yay, you're back! That is such fantastic news about KND. Congrats on completing it at long last! Those first two photos you shared definitely seem to have a story hidden within them, so no wonder they inspired you to write!

I've never understood why people find dolls creepy, either, but then again, I'm a huge fan of dolls, so la-la-la...
Nov. 23rd, 2013 02:42 am (UTC)
This sounds really good! Can't wait to read it.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


Jeannine Garsee

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