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The Longest Five-Minute Drive of My Life

Driving along, beautiful sunny day, windows open, chitchatting with my daughter, Eli in the back seat.




Sniff, sniff.

“Eeww, do you smell that?”

“They must be working on the sewers.”

“It’s disgusting!”

“Maybe they’re laying fertilizer. Look, there’s a truck…”



"I can still smell it."

“Even Eli smells it. Look, he’s trying to jump out—Eli, get your leg out of the window!”

“Eeww, it’s getting worse—!”

“Well, the truck is turning off...”

"Thank God."


“Mom. MOM! Elijah just shit.”

“What? No! He never does that.”

“He just DID!”

“Oh my God. Oh my GOD.”

“Eew, it's diarrhea. Eew, eew, eewwwww!”

“Eli, stay. Stay where you are. Do—NOT—MOVE!”

“Too late. It’s everywhere.”

“The ONE FRIGGING TIME I don’t cover the seat!”

“Look, he’s scared—he won’t even go near it.”

I don’t want to go near it!”


"Later we'll probably laugh about this..."


"Okay. Maybe not."


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 31st, 2013 06:41 pm (UTC)
NOooooooooo. Are you laughing yet?
Jun. 1st, 2013 05:36 pm (UTC)
No! I can't believe it. I mean...really? How am I NOT laughing? :)
Jun. 1st, 2013 12:53 am (UTC)
Oh, wow! This is an experience no one ever wants to have. Poor guy, though. Most dogs know better and would do everything to hold it so he must have REALLY had to go. Sorry you had to clean that up, though. So, so disgusting.
Jun. 1st, 2013 05:37 pm (UTC)
Yeah, he NEVER would've done this unless it'd been a dire emergency. He is very particular, lol. With good hygiene habits.
Jun. 1st, 2013 06:54 am (UTC)
Eek! I mean, eew! XD
Jun. 1st, 2013 05:37 pm (UTC)
LOL, that was the word of the WEEK around here!
Jun. 1st, 2013 01:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, grossss! Poor you and poor dog. But I bet you will laugh about it eventually. It was funny reading about it in a kind of icky way.
Jun. 1st, 2013 05:38 pm (UTC)
At least I, who photographs everything, refrained from taking the before and after pics ... :)
Jun. 12th, 2013 01:42 pm (UTC)
I just threw up
Aug. 27th, 2013 02:44 pm (UTC)
My dog did that once too
Unfortunately for me we were on a road trip and stuck on the PA turnpike. We had to drive several miles with that noxious scent. Once we were able to stop the car, we ended up going to a dollar store to pick up trash bags, a blanket, deodorizers, & carpet cleaner. We then had to drive him to a self car wash and hose him down. We were only 1/2 through our drive and had no choice!
Aug. 28th, 2013 01:38 pm (UTC)
Re: My dog did that once too
What a way to ruin a trip!

I've learned my lesson. I drag him around the yard now and MAKE him "check himself" before we go anywhere! :)
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


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