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Stagefright

I can't believe my book signing is tomorrow.

1. Book shipment confirmed: check
2. Prepared introduction: check.
3. Rides arranged: check.
4. What to read? Not checked. Will decide later.
5. Ativan: check.
6. Refreshments: not checked. Pending.
7. Plan B if the A/C is still kaput: check.
8. What to wear? Check. Nothing spectacular--this is summer. In Cleveland!

Photobucket

Why are these always so stressful? Why can't they be as much fun for the author as they are for the guests? Why am I so freeeekin' neurotic? Heck, I get all in a tizzy when I invite relatives over for a cook-out. I've been known to spazz out if I have to make an appointment over the phone. I'm that kid who, when called on in class, would dive-bomb under the desk and not come up till the bell rang.

Some authors thrive on this stuff. You know who you are and I am looking RIGHT AT YOU. Smiley I admire you so much. Why can't it rub off on me?

What the HECK is your SECRET?

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
fandoria
Jul. 16th, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
You sound like me. I have to give myself peptalks and work my way toward making phone calls for things like appts and stuff--and that's only when I can't convince my husband to handle it for me. And I need at least a week to prepare if we have people over for dinner. I can't do those spur of the moment things. And when I was in school, I was the kid who turned beet red and started crying if called on in class. Even now, when I'm out in public I prefer to be the invisible wall flower. I do much better at the whole socializing thing if my husband is there because he's good at starting/carrying on conversations. Leave me to my own devices and more often than not, my mind will go blank and I'll start staring at the ground, wishing I could sink into it because I feel so awkward.
onegrapeshy
Jul. 16th, 2012 06:43 pm (UTC)
I think we are soul sisters.
fandoria
Jul. 16th, 2012 08:02 pm (UTC)
I'm starting to think so too. :)
whitehousemom
Jul. 16th, 2012 08:26 pm (UTC)
How exciting!!
onegrapeshy
Jul. 16th, 2012 09:59 pm (UTC)
I know!!!
melissawyatt
Jul. 16th, 2012 08:59 pm (UTC)
If you discover the secret, let me know. I have to go into these things in a kind of delusional state that I'm not ME, I'm The Author. A kind of dissociative state. I'm so worried that one day, I won't be able to switch back! And I'll end up in the writer's loony bin.

I also have a major problem with breathing during these things. I have a bad habit of taking a big huge deep breath at the start and then never leave myself time to let it back out, taking shallow breaths the whole time, so by the end, I'm on the verge of passing out and my ribs hurt!

It's the height of cruel irony that writers--who spend so much time alone with the people in their heads--are expected to be able to switch gears effortlessly and become dazzlingly social butterflies.
onegrapeshy
Jul. 16th, 2012 09:59 pm (UTC)
Dazzle...I have to remember that. ;)
(Deleted comment)
onegrapeshy
Jul. 17th, 2012 02:39 pm (UTC)
Hugs back! (so glad I am not alone)
(Deleted comment)
onegrapeshy
Jul. 17th, 2012 02:40 pm (UTC)
VERY VERY COOL!!!!!!
(Deleted comment)
onegrapeshy
Jul. 17th, 2012 04:56 pm (UTC)
I wish I had you for moral support.
(Deleted comment)
edgyauthor
Jul. 17th, 2012 01:42 am (UTC)
This sounds exactly like me. I am always so utterly petrified to talk to people in person, or even on the phone. (I had to do the latter recently for internet issues, and OMG, the stress of that alone was torture!) I have no idea--NO IDEA--how I will be able to handle things like this if I'm ever actually published....

Good luck at your book signing tomorrow! :)
onegrapeshy
Jul. 17th, 2012 02:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
lalam
Jul. 17th, 2012 01:35 pm (UTC)
Okay this is where we differ. I LOVE being the center of attention. I would do so well at these things. I just love talking to people and making them laugh. Even if I'm not that funny! Just take a deep breath, drink some water (spiked with something strong) and just have fun! Good luck!
onegrapeshy
Jul. 17th, 2012 02:41 pm (UTC)
Maybe you could come and pose as me? Pretty please????

And YAY for the contest on your blog! Thank You!
lalam
Jul. 17th, 2012 04:37 pm (UTC)
If I did that, I would take all the credit for NONE of the work! (I kinda like that, though!)

So there's this new genre that you're perfect for. It's called New Adult/Mature Young adult. for the 16+ group. Am LOVING these stories! I think you need to write one! ;p
onegrapeshy
Jul. 17th, 2012 04:56 pm (UTC)
SEX? I can't write sex!

But I do have something on the back burner.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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